Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Scared (updated again)

Over the last 24 hours, my symptoms appear to be fading. I have been so very miserable for a month, but yesterday, I started to feel better. Suddenly, I had an appetite. Food began to taste good. And when I ate, I did not get sick 10 minutes later. I even had a piece of cheesecake that I made for Easter—something that I knew would set me over the edge—but it didn’t. I still had minor bouts of nausea throughout the day, but they were so very minor compared to the misery of the last four weeks. This morning, I was able to get out of bed without eating something first. And I didn’t throw up. Actually, I spent almost an hour without eating, and yet I didn’t feel like I was going to collapse.

For the first time in over a month, I took my morning temp. 97.6. Still above my 97.3 coverline, but below 98.1, my last reading in early March.

10 weeks and 3 days. I should not be feeling better yet; it is too early to lose the symptoms. I keep telling myself that maybe I just had a good day yesterday. Maybe this is just a fluke.

This weekend, I passed the point when the last pregnancy went to hell. I don’t want to go down that road again, even though I know there is nothing I can do to avoid it if that's where it's headed.

I am so scared.

**Update: Spoke to the midwife at my OB/GYN practice (some day, I will write a glowing post about how much I love the collaborative nature of my practice where doctors practice alongside midwives and what an amazing difference that makes for me). She said what I expected her to say: it could be nothing or it could be something. I have an appointment on Friday morning. Of course, being the idiot that I am, I asked, "I already have an appointment for Monday--should I just wait until then?" And being a sweet and smart woman that she is, she said, "Do you want to go on worrying over the weekend?" Thank you, Gina, for providing the voice of reason.

**Friday update: We’ve got a beautiful heartbeat. 165. Didn’t even need to pull out a sonogram machine—we heard the heartbeat clearly through Doppler, despite my funky inverted uterus. Our chances of miscarriage just went down from 20% to 3%. Woo-hoo! Symptoms also have returned yesterday, although not quite with the same intensity, for which I am grateful. This pregnancy may actually work out. Next stop: nuchal translucency u/s on April 23. Thank you guys so much for your support and prayers.

8 comments:

Sarah said...

oh gosh kate, i so understand your fear. but i don't think 10 weeks is too early for symptoms to go away. i'm sure you've heard a million times that every pregnancy is different, so you can't comapre this to how long you may have been sick with Child, or anything else for that matter. i think the thing to do is call your doctor. when's your next appointment? i don't think there's anything wrong with calling and saying you think something is wrong. sure they may think you are a crazy pregnant lady, but just tell them that you really really do not feel right. you have every right to ask for a check up. also i think you should not read anything into your temp, esp since it's been a month or more since the last time you checked it.

best wishes for good news soon.

JW said...

Hey Kate, I've heard ALOT of people say this around 10 weeks. I'm sure its nothing. I really hope its nothing, but glad the lovely nurse is bringing you in on Friday to set your mind at ease. Hang in there, you're almost out of the first trimester! x

Unknown said...

It's so hard not to worry when you get to the same point you were in an earlier loss. But stay strong. This is a different pregnancy, and symptoms can fade at this point. Good luck on Friday. [hug]

AR said...

Best wishes for Friday. Praying for you and your family.

AR said...

Wonderful news ... I'm glad for you. I can relate to some of what you have said in previous posts -- not being experienced in the IF or SIF world, etc. I think no matter what you have been through or not been through, if it's hard, it's hard and people are there to support you.

Unknown said...

Wonderful news! Now, have a relaxing (and worry-free) weekend.

JW said...

Hooooooooo-raaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!! So glad its all turning out fabulously! Congrats, I bet you feel 100% better now! x

Unknown said...

well, phew! i'm glad to hear all is well. i would have worried too....